


To Protect the Innocent Comma

by Zoya1416



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Carrot is a very literal dwarf, Gen, Oaths, Watch Recruits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Angua listens to Carrot's oath it makes her smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Protect the Innocent Comma

**Author's Note:**

> The full version of the oath is in the end note.

Every time that Angua heard Carrot giving the oath to new recruits it made her smile.

 

He'd start off “I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma,” and then nod at them to follow him. She never let her eyes fix on the little crowd. Many of them couldn't read, of course, and it was so much Ephebian to them why the Captain was asking them to swear oaths to wood working items. She'd ask them afterward—much afterward— when the recruit was finished with “his stroke her delete whichever is inappropriate” training what they'd thought about the oath. She wouldn't dream for the world of hurting Carrot, but she was curious on how this was perceived. 

A literate watchperson would shrug that he stroke she stroke it was just following along with the ways things were done here, although it “seems a bit, a bit unusual, Captain? Doesn't it?"

She'd frown and tell them she was only asking. Most people, except the terminally stupid, backed away from Angua's frowns. 

The religious ones, except for more of the growing Omnian contingent, (first bravely colonized alone by Constable Visit-The-Ungodly-With-Explanatory-Pamplets), believed that the Captain was invoking karma so many times to make them aware of the seriousness of the oath and the retributions they faced if they failed it. Not a bad idea to throw at a new recruit's head.

Those who'd followed along to “the subjects of His stroke Her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate name of reigning monarch bracket” sometimes thought that they were being asked to defend Ankh-Morpork by deleting an inappropriate reigning monarch, should one appear. That was a good idea to swear oneself to. She agreed with Vimes. No more kings, even it was Carrot.

Most repeated the unusual verbiage without understanding much of it except the part “laying down my life if necessary in the cause of said duty.” That, everyone understood, even the golems. The commas, brackets, strokes, and choice of deities were the extraneous, the lettuce in a Vimes' bacon sandwich.

That was all there was to it, really, the little kernel. Do you want to join up or get your goohooloolug heads kicked in? Sergeant Detritus said something like that. Trollish was a closed rock to her.

And if they wouldn't swear what seemed like a ridiculous oath—they didn't deserve to serve Ankh-Morpork in all her steaming multi-vital, multi-ethnic, multi-social glory. 

“To pursue evildoers and protect the innocent comma,” Carrot's loud voice was pealing out, “laying down my life...” He would if needed. She would too, and that's why she was still here beside him. She stepped up and gave the trainees her best glare.

“Uniforms—Axhammerson through Fireagate. Weapons—Henbite through Ziabotti. Rotate to next group when finished and to the central training field when kitted out. Sergeant Detritus will meet you there. On the double!”

Carrot fell in next to her, as they moved on up the street a ways, proceeding together. She still loved the soap, sweat, and armor polish smell of him. She believed in his vision as much as she loved him. Which was why she stayed with him in the Watch, protecting the innocent: man, woman, child, and comma alike.

**Author's Note:**

> The complete version of the Watch's swearing-in oath, per Carrot: (emphasis mine)
> 
> "I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma do solemnly swear by square bracket recruit's deity of choice square bracket to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust comma and defend the subjects of His stroke Her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket Majesty bracket name of reigning monarch bracket without fear comma favor comma or thought of personal safety semi-colon to pursue evildoers AND PROTECT THE INNOCENT COMMA laying down my life if necessary in the cause of such duty comma so help me bracket aforesaid deity bracket full stop Gods save the King stroke Queen bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket full stop."


End file.
